Post by graybeardhalt on Jul 26, 2011 18:13:44 GMT -5
We were in a chat RP when inspiration suddenly struck. The following took me roughly 30 minutes to complete, and I loved every second of it. Enjoy~~~
"Whoa, what the hell's going on here?" Halt said, twirling his katana and sheathing it. He glanced over everyone and spotted Kyle. "You. I've been looking for you. Wanted for attempted rape of 4 women, failing each time, then going and trying to rob a gun shop...with a gun. I've had 5 different people just beg me to find and kill you, and they'd pay through the nose for your corpse. We wouldn't wanna disappoint them, now would we." Halt smiled devilishly and leapt at Kyle, his body morphing in midair. His hands turned into paws with massive claws that could tear through almost any metal. His face morphed into a terrifying monster, with fangs that could crash any skull in a matter of seconds. Fur sprouted all over his body, and a tail snaked its way up and out. Halt slammed into Kyle, his claws tearing through the man's flesh as easily as a knife through butter. Halt seemed to smile as he slashed across Kyle's abdomen, forcing all of the man's guts to spill out, but they were still connected. Halt then reached down with his jaw and slowly, but forcibly, tore each of his arms off, every muscle snapping under Halt's powerful jaws. "Oh, one thing I want you to see before you lose these." Halt said, his claw coming dangerously close to one of Kyle's eyes. Halt produced a small portable computer-like device from seemingly nowhere and pressed a play button. A cheap 1980's porn film began to play, and it was about a woman who was apparently waiting for a plumber. Once the plumber showed up, he just waltzed in, wearing only a pair of what could only be called "half-pants". The porn continued and RIGHT when Kyle was about to thank Halt for showing him such a masterpiece, the camera zoomed in on the guy's face. The man looked right at the camera, scrunched his eyes up, his mouth curling into a perfect 0 and said "OOOOOOOOOOH." Kyle's face turned into one of fear and revulsion as he tried to escape from the computer, but Halt still had him pinned down. Kyle began to weep, begging Halt to stop it, but Halt only smiled. Halt then began clawing Kyle's eyes out, one at a time. They were left dangling for a moment, only connected by little strings of nerve tissue. Halt dragged one claw across Kyle's face, severing the strings and splitting his nose open in the process. Halt growled and then slammed a paw down on Kyle's chest, every rib audibly cracking and splintering. Kyle let out a small whimper of pain. He no longer cried, for he was long past the feeling of pain. "Oh, it looks like you do have a heart after all. How unfortunate." Halt growled happily. Halt continued his work, tearing off Kyle's legs and throwing them in a pile as well. "And finally, the part that should never have existed in the first place." Halt grinned. Halt just chomped down, crushing Kyle's whole skull in one bite. The man's blood tingled Halt's tongue and it just felt....wrong. Halt spat it out, a disgusted look on his face. "Ugh, I knew he was foul, but nobody told me HOW foul." Halt morphed back to human and threw all the discarded pieces in the bag. "Hmm, I seem to be missing about 3 pieces. Oh wait, he never had those." Halt said, facepalming himself with a laugh. "Anyway, I need to get these parts back to my buyers. I'll make a killing off of these." Halt said, grinning evilly. Halt then departed, selling each part to an individual buyer. Halt then used all of the money to buy a publishing company and wrote an entire series of epic books about himself, using mind blowing grammar and spelling.
"Whoa, what the hell's going on here?" Halt said, twirling his katana and sheathing it. He glanced over everyone and spotted Kyle. "You. I've been looking for you. Wanted for attempted rape of 4 women, failing each time, then going and trying to rob a gun shop...with a gun. I've had 5 different people just beg me to find and kill you, and they'd pay through the nose for your corpse. We wouldn't wanna disappoint them, now would we." Halt smiled devilishly and leapt at Kyle, his body morphing in midair. His hands turned into paws with massive claws that could tear through almost any metal. His face morphed into a terrifying monster, with fangs that could crash any skull in a matter of seconds. Fur sprouted all over his body, and a tail snaked its way up and out. Halt slammed into Kyle, his claws tearing through the man's flesh as easily as a knife through butter. Halt seemed to smile as he slashed across Kyle's abdomen, forcing all of the man's guts to spill out, but they were still connected. Halt then reached down with his jaw and slowly, but forcibly, tore each of his arms off, every muscle snapping under Halt's powerful jaws. "Oh, one thing I want you to see before you lose these." Halt said, his claw coming dangerously close to one of Kyle's eyes. Halt produced a small portable computer-like device from seemingly nowhere and pressed a play button. A cheap 1980's porn film began to play, and it was about a woman who was apparently waiting for a plumber. Once the plumber showed up, he just waltzed in, wearing only a pair of what could only be called "half-pants". The porn continued and RIGHT when Kyle was about to thank Halt for showing him such a masterpiece, the camera zoomed in on the guy's face. The man looked right at the camera, scrunched his eyes up, his mouth curling into a perfect 0 and said "OOOOOOOOOOH." Kyle's face turned into one of fear and revulsion as he tried to escape from the computer, but Halt still had him pinned down. Kyle began to weep, begging Halt to stop it, but Halt only smiled. Halt then began clawing Kyle's eyes out, one at a time. They were left dangling for a moment, only connected by little strings of nerve tissue. Halt dragged one claw across Kyle's face, severing the strings and splitting his nose open in the process. Halt growled and then slammed a paw down on Kyle's chest, every rib audibly cracking and splintering. Kyle let out a small whimper of pain. He no longer cried, for he was long past the feeling of pain. "Oh, it looks like you do have a heart after all. How unfortunate." Halt growled happily. Halt continued his work, tearing off Kyle's legs and throwing them in a pile as well. "And finally, the part that should never have existed in the first place." Halt grinned. Halt just chomped down, crushing Kyle's whole skull in one bite. The man's blood tingled Halt's tongue and it just felt....wrong. Halt spat it out, a disgusted look on his face. "Ugh, I knew he was foul, but nobody told me HOW foul." Halt morphed back to human and threw all the discarded pieces in the bag. "Hmm, I seem to be missing about 3 pieces. Oh wait, he never had those." Halt said, facepalming himself with a laugh. "Anyway, I need to get these parts back to my buyers. I'll make a killing off of these." Halt said, grinning evilly. Halt then departed, selling each part to an individual buyer. Halt then used all of the money to buy a publishing company and wrote an entire series of epic books about himself, using mind blowing grammar and spelling.
