Post by Noven on Apr 10, 2011 18:48:54 GMT -5
Still all in brainstorming format, I can put in a more revised version later if wanted~ Feel free to add in new suggestion if you'd like, this is still in the brainstorming process 
SympathyForTheMoogle: Okay, so my pitch is that there are... um... two opposing factions, one of them is a group of robots (Hans there, : D) the other is a group of invisible spirits who always wear hats and clothes just so everyone else knows where they are. Now, the story begins at two points. One of them dictates a fancy olde get together than the spirits and robots are having later that evening on the robo-boss' Ice Palace on the moon. They're all getting ready and talking about different alliances within the family and the robots and spirits etcetera etcetera etcetera (King and I there, : D). The other side of the story chronicles a small family of creatures that live on the moon. Little things about the size of a foot. They scamper around all unintelligent and hungry and such, and the story keeps going from one side of the story and back to the animals, following the day along. Then, the ball arrives and long story short one of the creatures ends up in the ice palace and through a horrific accident involving what can only be descriped as a Rube Goldberg machine the lizard kills one of the top spirits. Now, because of the intrigue we were made aware of earlier on the spirits start blaming this robot (they don't know about the creature thing, obviously), and then follows a bunch of detection stuff and eventually the robot is proven guilty, even though it wasn't him. So his family turn away from him (this is built on during the detective bit yadda yadda yadda) and to avoid an absolute explosion between the two groups, because of the economic backlash, shaking up of all the allegiences with other groups (Metal Llamas, Trees, Small Talking Rabbits Made Of Chocolate) he has to be executed and theres all this break down in the robots soul and its totally fucking deep and magical, then he gets executed and this creature from earlier runs over his cabin and the screen fades to black. 'The Aristocrats.' 'Summer.'
SympathyForTheMoogle: Well, the detective has his own issues to worry about. Like getting assassinated for giving out the wrong conclusion.
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: Why would they assassinate him for the wrong conclusion? Is somebody pulling strings, here? Does someone want a war?
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: So, perhaps the lizard creatures have a 'red flag', which we learn during our time with them, and this our villain knows...and he somehow gets the beast inside as part of his plan, thus keeping his own hands clean of...spirit blood? Perhaps when we watch the creatures, we watch through his eyes? Or do we want to keep that side free of political machinations? Contrast the simple animalistic life with the courntly life of our human-like subjects?
SympathyForTheMoogle: I think keeping the contrast between lizard and ... Noble is very important.
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: Okay, I agree. Do these creatures have a hierarchy too? Do we follow their simple struggles and allow our reader to see how infinitely similar the base instincts are no matter how prettily you dress them up? I'd like that
SympathyForTheMoogle: Yes, still have problems. But with their whole life and death thing going on it makes the game the nobles are playing seem petty by comparison.
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: So, who is our villain and why does he want a war...hmm. Perhaps he is a member of one of the other allied races you mentioned, and a war between these two dominant races would benefit his people greatly. Leave a gap that they can fill. And the detective knows first hand (perhaps he's covered wars?) how ruthless this race can be, so when he uncovers evidence of their presence on the moon, he remembers how they killed his brother in a terrible manner, remembers that his wife and kids are home alone, and keeps his mouth shut, as one idea.
SympathyForTheMoogle: Okay, so my pitch is that there are... um... two opposing factions, one of them is a group of robots (Hans there, : D) the other is a group of invisible spirits who always wear hats and clothes just so everyone else knows where they are. Now, the story begins at two points. One of them dictates a fancy olde get together than the spirits and robots are having later that evening on the robo-boss' Ice Palace on the moon. They're all getting ready and talking about different alliances within the family and the robots and spirits etcetera etcetera etcetera (King and I there, : D). The other side of the story chronicles a small family of creatures that live on the moon. Little things about the size of a foot. They scamper around all unintelligent and hungry and such, and the story keeps going from one side of the story and back to the animals, following the day along. Then, the ball arrives and long story short one of the creatures ends up in the ice palace and through a horrific accident involving what can only be descriped as a Rube Goldberg machine the lizard kills one of the top spirits. Now, because of the intrigue we were made aware of earlier on the spirits start blaming this robot (they don't know about the creature thing, obviously), and then follows a bunch of detection stuff and eventually the robot is proven guilty, even though it wasn't him. So his family turn away from him (this is built on during the detective bit yadda yadda yadda) and to avoid an absolute explosion between the two groups, because of the economic backlash, shaking up of all the allegiences with other groups (Metal Llamas, Trees, Small Talking Rabbits Made Of Chocolate) he has to be executed and theres all this break down in the robots soul and its totally fucking deep and magical, then he gets executed and this creature from earlier runs over his cabin and the screen fades to black. 'The Aristocrats.' 'Summer.'
SympathyForTheMoogle: Well, the detective has his own issues to worry about. Like getting assassinated for giving out the wrong conclusion.
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: Why would they assassinate him for the wrong conclusion? Is somebody pulling strings, here? Does someone want a war?
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: So, perhaps the lizard creatures have a 'red flag', which we learn during our time with them, and this our villain knows...and he somehow gets the beast inside as part of his plan, thus keeping his own hands clean of...spirit blood? Perhaps when we watch the creatures, we watch through his eyes? Or do we want to keep that side free of political machinations? Contrast the simple animalistic life with the courntly life of our human-like subjects?
SympathyForTheMoogle: I think keeping the contrast between lizard and ... Noble is very important.
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: Okay, I agree. Do these creatures have a hierarchy too? Do we follow their simple struggles and allow our reader to see how infinitely similar the base instincts are no matter how prettily you dress them up? I'd like that
SympathyForTheMoogle: Yes, still have problems. But with their whole life and death thing going on it makes the game the nobles are playing seem petty by comparison.
FinlandiaWhiteEyes: So, who is our villain and why does he want a war...hmm. Perhaps he is a member of one of the other allied races you mentioned, and a war between these two dominant races would benefit his people greatly. Leave a gap that they can fill. And the detective knows first hand (perhaps he's covered wars?) how ruthless this race can be, so when he uncovers evidence of their presence on the moon, he remembers how they killed his brother in a terrible manner, remembers that his wife and kids are home alone, and keeps his mouth shut, as one idea.
